It's amazing how different situations you go through in life can either make you into a better and stronger person or completely crumble...

Eight years, in and out of situations...I could have crumbled but the battles were conquered and I'm still standing. I use to believe I would be married with children all before the age of 30; but God has a different plan for me. I may not have been successful in relationships but I am successful as a woman, daughter, sister, entreprenuer, and friend. One of my purposes is to touch someoneon's heart and let them know every little thing will be alright. I've been betrayed, lied to, abandoned, and hurt in ways I never thought I would; but experience is the best teacher.  We have all been hurt, but it's how you handle it and get back up when you fall. 

My mother recently told me "Everyone isn't out to hurt you." I replied..."It's so hard to believe that." After thinking about it, she was right. When I was younger, my parents had a pear tree in the back yard. When the pears grew and fell on the ground, 90% of them were bad. After eliminating all the bad pears, there was always those few that were good. Just like a pear tree, there are still a few good men.

*Something to think about...*

It's important to first love yourself before anyone else can love you.

Respect yourself. No man will give you the respect you think you deserve if you can't respect yourself.

Be patient, good things come to those who wait.

When you go through tests in life, just know you will have a testimony...Someone out there needs to hear what you have to say.

Be you...If you can't be accepted for who you are, you don't need that person(s) in your life.

"I may not be anything to you, but one day I will be something to someone."

From different relationships, I learned that I may not be much to one person but to someone else, I'm a jewel.  The saying..."One man's trash is another man's treasure." is true.  What one man don't love and cherish, someone else would.  My treasures have not been found yet and that's okay.  People don't realize how much they can affect someone and their feelings.  Everyone deal with hurt in different ways, and I chose to deal with mine by placing a wall around my heart.  Little did I know that this wall wouldn't be easy to break down.  Maybe I was in denial but when I thought my wall was coming down, I was reminded why I placed it up in the beginning.  We all have to remember, we must let go of things we cannot control.  Decisions that others made affected me in ways I should not have let have the best of me.  The best thing to do is let go and let God.  

I sometimes ask myself...why is it everything I love, I lose or Why do good girls finish last?  I have become successful in so many things but one thing I always fail in...relationships.  Should this really be considered a failure or just a roadblock until I get to the right destination?  I'm a beautiful woman, inside and out with a lot to offer any man, therefore, again, the best thing to do is let go and let God....I promise I will come out winning.   

"In life, there's many things we have to learn to let go.  We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people, and even ourselves."  Author Unknown.

Completely letting go of a situation, thing, memory, person, or ourselves can set your mind, body, and soul free.  If you can't let go of what you thought you needed or wanted, you can't receive what's meant for you.  We sometimes block ourselves from our own blessings.

Holding on to past situations can hinder growth; mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  I guarantee if you let go of all past obstacles, you can prosper.  There have been times where I would keep memories and past situations inside.  Holding on to those memories of pain and hurt eventually brought pain and distance to the people I loved and cared about.  It's an amazing feeling to let go of the pain that hindered me.  I finally made the decision to not let anyone or anything stop me from my growth....Let go! 

Sometimes it takes getting hurt to know and understand your true worth.  I made a vow to myself to always love, cherish, and appreciate myself.  I also made a vow to never love a man more than I love myself.  Nobody can love me better than me.  The long nights and the many tears that fell on my pillow was not in vain.  They constantly remind me of my worth and all that I deserve. 

Forgiving can be tough, but I'm thankful for having a forgiving heart.  Forgiving all that has hurt me allowed me to love myself even more.  I can go on knowing God is by my side and when I put my trust in him, I will be blessed.  I learned that disappointments come and they go; I'll get hurt and I'll love.  Through it all, I'm thankful.

Hurt can leave scars and emotional pain, but after the pain...there is love. 

Many times, it's easy to give up on love because of past relationships and heartbreaks.  In the past, I have tried to hold on to unhealthy relationships from fear of being alone and hoping it will change.  Because I held on for so long, my heart was filled with pain and I was the one who suffered.  I prayed that I wouldn't continue to hold on to the past; it wasn't healthy for my mental and spiritual growth.  After all the tears and sleepless nights, I discovered my worth.  I should not and will not settle for less.  I am a beautiful woman, inside and out who deserves someone who will love me past my pain and I do believe there is love after hurt.  I have to constantly remind myself, going into a new relationship, I have to have an open heart and open mind.  I can't compare a new relationship with the previous, for everyone and every situation are different.  I learned to not be bitter, but better.  I also believe I go through certain relationship situations, not just for myself but to reach out to other young women...I may have scars on my heart, but with time, they will slowly fade away.     

There had been times in my past when I asked myself, should I give up on love?  It seemed that everything I loved, I lost.  Over time, I built up a wall but made it so it couldn’t be taken down.  I had to deal with closing people out my life and for that, I lost.  I would think that if one person can hurt me, anyone could.  I had to pray and ask God to let me have a forgiving heart, not only forgive others but forgive myself.  I’m thankful to say that I have came a long way.  I am developing into the woman that God would have me to be.  I was not able to have doors opened for me until I closed the doors I left behind.  I carried so much on my heart that it emotionally drained me.  I was always angry for absolutely something that was out of my control.

Time, patience, and prayer can and will heal all wounds. I learned to always have hope even when youre discouraged. Someone will come into your life at your weakest time. They will uplift you, give you everything you thought you lost and remind you there is love after pain. This past year for me has been a year of growth and I am so thankful. I’m thankful for who I was, where I am now, and who I’m going to be. I’m thankful for the people who are in my life and the people who left. I’m thankful for the man that came in my life when I needed him most. I’m thankful for all the support I have from friends and family. If you have pain in your heart or if you’re holding on to something that is hindering your growth, pray and ask for forgiveness. So many doors will open when you close what is not for you.

Growing up as a little girl, I always thought love was just a fairy tale and happen just like they do in the movies. When you put your heart out there to love, there’s a risk for it to be hurt. You have to trust the person you love and trust that they will love you through it all. Aristotle said “We cannont learn without pain.” Without pain, you wouldn’t know how to appreciate and cherish the good things. You should use your pain and learn from it; learn that if you really do love somebody, you will stick out the fight…Pain, patience, and prosperity. You go through the pain with love, you have to have patience that everything will work out when it’s time, and your love for one another will continue to prosper.

Easily giving up should not be an option when you truly love someone. It’s always easier said than done. There has been many times where I just wanted to give up on relationships and love. It sometimes gets to a point where you’re just tired of going through the pain and emotions and tired of your love being taken for granted. I know that love is never painless, so with that I have learned to fight through the pain and love with all my heart. Yes, I’m aware of the “symptoms” of pain…shedding of tears, lonely nights, testing of patience, and going through different emotions…but at the end of the day…Love is never painless.

Why do women always say "A good man is hard to find?” A woman isn't supposed to be looking for a man; a good man will find you. There's times where as a woman, we get lonely and just want that man to be there; to just hold you. One thing that's always been so hard for me is patience, and everyday I'm being tested. I am going to continue to stay patient because I know there's that one good man for me. I deserve and will have the best, and I know when my day comes, it will be a gift from God. "What God put together, can't no man break apart." A wise woman once told me that when "the one" come along, I will know it. It will be a feeling I can't explain and it's a feeling that's so right.  The one will be my best friend, my companion, and my supporter. Friendship is a strong foundation for a relationship. So as women, we must stop saying a good man is hard to find, let him find you and your relationship will be prosperous.

Myself being a single woman, I noticed that we sometimes blame others for our relationship problems and failures. Have you thought that the problem may not be the men you’re in a relationship with, but it’s you? I blamed everyone for my relationships failing. I blamed the man for being inconsiderate, selfish, and wrong. I blamed my family for telling me he wasn’t the one, even when I knew in my heart they were right. I blamed myself for staying in the relationships for so long and becoming adapted to the hurt. My relationships didn’t fail because of others, he just wasn’t the one. I knew it was time to reevaluate myself and find out what I wanted, what I was doing wrong, and why they were failing; I concluded that yes, there were things I had to work on from within but the main reason they failed…He wasn’t the one. My mother, the wonderful woman she is told me God will not have you unequally yoked. There will be a connection mentally, physically, emotionally, and most important; spirtually. Now, being single for so long and knowing what I want and need; from myself and a man I will be ready for “The One.”

For a long time, I built a wall and hid the key around my heart so no one can tear it down. Today, I’m thankful to say I broke down those walls and ready to love again. It’s amazing with what some people go through to get to the point of no return, to the point where they want to give up, and to the point where they think no one understands. I was bitter and thought everybody was the same. That’s not true and that was just my “immature thinking.” There are people out there who care, understand, and love you; even through your flaws. If someone can’t accept you with your flaws; regardless of your past, mistakes, and weaknesses then they don’t deserve you at your highest points. How do you expect to see a rainbow when you haven’t been in the storm? You can’t build up walls so strong that no one can break them down, you will loose out on so much of life. So, wherever the key to your heart is hidden…find it and open your heart…for yourself and for love.

Sometimes as a woman, we pass by good things hoping that the situation we are in will work out. I use to think “why do I seem to attract men that I know is not for me.” I would stay in the situation hoping it will work out, hoping he would change, and hoping he would realize how much of a good woman I am. Little did I know that I can never change a man, no matter how good I was to him. He has his own mind and has to make his own decisions. I’m thankful my past relationships didn’t work out. They tore me down and I built myself back up into the woman that God would have me to be. They made me realize that I deserve better and will have the best.  I’m still growing and still learning, but I’m wiser now. There has been a time where I had passed by what some would call a “good catch.” This man has every characteristic I look for in a man. He’s smart, prosperous, goal-oriented, educated, charming, he loves the Lord, and has a heart full of love. He notices the small things and always has a way of making me smile. He would notice the change in my hair, my outfit, the bag that I’m carrying, my smile…Speaking of smile, he has one that can light any dark room. My mother use to tell me that you don’t want to get your man while God is still in the “working stage” of him, or prematurely. I would want him when he’s complete. If he’s the man for me, I strongly believe that he will come to me again and I will not let him pass me by and I will be ready to accept all he has to offer me.  To all, don't let a good man pass you by out of fear that it may work.